Jacques Lacan was a French psychoanalyst who made significant contributions to the understanding of human psychology. His theories on the subject of desire provide us with an insightful view on the human mind and the way our experiences shape our desires. One of Lacan's most prominent developments is the objet petit a, which he conceptualized as the object-cause of desire, rather than a missing possession that could finally complete us. In my application to mourning, the loss may concern not only a loved person but the place their love or desire gave us in the world. (Lacan, 1964/1978)
Furthermore, Lacan believed that the superego plays an important role in the formation of desire. As discussed in the previous blog post, the superego is the part of our psyche that is responsible for creating a sense of morality and values that guide our actions. More than the ‘should not’s’ of superego, Lacan notes the ‘shoulds’ of the superego or ideals which give us some mapping to the desire of our lost objects. Lacan argues that the superego and what I call the fantasy of “missed blessings” creates a sense of guilt and anxiety in us by making us feel as though we are lacking or not doing enough.
This, in turn, can keep a person pursuing an imagined answer to what is lacking. The fantasy of filling that lack should be distinguished from Lacan’s account of objet petit a as the cause of desire. (Lacan, 1964/1978; 1972–1973/1998)
Finally, Lacan also highlighted the importance of the desire of the other in shaping our own desires. The desire of the other refers to the way we model our own desires after those of people we admire or view as authority figures. Their expectations can give shape to what we believe we ought to want, including desires that do not simply amount to imitation or conscious approval. Consequently, our desire is shaped by those around us, whether consciously or unconsciously.
Overall, Lacan’s theories on the objet petit a, the superego, and the desire of the other offer insight into why we desire certain things and what drives us to pursue them. How does this change how we mourn? Depression may be experienced as a loss of desire or feeling, though it cannot be defined by that experience alone. In mourning we journey to find the Object cause of desire and to find our desire again. In this kind of therapy, we can experience love less as filling a lack and more of a path to setting healthy limits in loving relationships so that one’s singularity is protected and maintained.
Lacan, J. (1964/1978). The Four Fundamental Concepts of Psychoanalysis: Seminar XI, translated by Alan Sheridan. W. W. Norton.
Lacan, J. (1972–1973/1998). On Feminine Sexuality, the Limits of Love and Knowledge: Seminar XX, translated by Bruce Fink. W. W. Norton.
Freud, S. (1914). On Narcissism: An Introduction. Standard Edition, 14, 67–102.